South Park meets Eminem feat. Fight Club

Saturday, October 15, 2005

How to piss people off

No, the answer isn’t by making pranks or scratching their car (although I can admit the latter is sometimes a very attractive alternative). It’s all in the attitude. And here’s how to do it:

- Imagine that you have to wake up early on a rainy Monday morning to get to work. It doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it? Well, it’s not, and it’s not going to be pleasant for the people that meet you… Your face can tell them to fuck off better than a thousand words.

- Keep your answers short. This doesn’t mean that they have to be clear as well… Use the “Mushroom” theory – keep them in the dark and feed them shit. Use “NO” as much as possible, even when (or especially when) it’s obvious that it should be a “YES”.

- Make sure you mock and make fun of what they do or say. Of course, don’t overdo it. But whenever you have the chance, hit them hard. Mean jokes about their looks or things they have done and made the mistake of telling you about it usually have a huge impact on people.

- Be stubborn. Things have to be done your way or not at all. Chances are that you will meet someone as stubborn as you, so this will be a battle of wills… But if you win it, the world is yours for the taking.

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